30 – Confession time – 7 th August 2020

As you know my uploads on this blog have been a little sporadic. This has come about due
to the fact that in 2 months I turn 50 and I don’t even vaguely think that I have got close to
my aims for this blog. I’m not fit and I definitely don’t feel fabulous. I do understand that the
world has changed dramatically since I started writing this blog (April 2018) and I have
changed dramatically health wise (cancer) so I understand that so much was out of my
control, but I still wanted to be in a better place after two years and the reality is I would say
I’m in a worse place – both fitness wise and psychologically.

I have taken the step to actually see a psychologist to just help me deal with the changes
I’ve been through over the past couple of years. She is a CBT trained therapist so I’m
hoping for some coping mechanisms with living my life. One thing I am really struggling with
is being back in Perth and not being able to get work. It wasn’t something I expected and
when we decided to move here (back in September 2018) the probability of me not getting
work wasn’t even a consideration. At the moment it is an unfortunate reality that there are a
lot of people applying for every job. I did get an interview last week, which was great but that
hasn’t gone anywhere. We will keep trying and see how things progress.

For me one of my biggest issues at the moment is how I look – I’m hating having short hair!
I hate it more than having no hair. I think it is partly because I’m struggling to style it so it
doesn’t look great and it is taking such a long time to grow. I even went and found out about
hair extensions to see if I could get them and unfortunately the top layer of my hair is still too
short! I’m also re-evaluating my wardrobe, partly because it is so casual but also because
it’s not as feminine as I would like. I must admit though adding femininity into a wardrobe
when you don’t like wearing skirts is difficult.

One thing I have been able to do is get more art into my life. That for me has been a
positive of lockdown and quarantine, I was able to paint and draw almost every day, which I
loved and it really helped me improve my artwork. I’m still struggling to get into a routine
here in Australia, not sure why but it is frustrating, but I am still doing more art work than I did
previously – getting some type of art done 3-4 times a week.
My plan over the next two weeks is to get some type of routine in my life and to get back to
regularly writing this blog (hopefully every 2 weeks). Hopefully next time you hear from me I
will have some type of routine and maybe even a job (which will force me back into a
routine).

Until next time.

One Reply to “30 – Confession time – 7 th August 2020”

  1. I do hope things get better for you.
    We are living through a pandemic but you have always been so positive.
    The wig used to look so good . Do you still wear it? Wish we could speak.

    Just come out of another lockdown – well semi – but not sure what future holds here at present.

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