25 – Slowly, slowly

I’m starting to despair a little; I’m finding it very hard to look at myself at the moment. This is because my hair has started to grow back and it just looks like baby fuzz – dark (interspersed with grey) baby fuzz. It’s also very slow growing. My hair has always been slow growing but it is really, really noticeable now. I’m finding that I’m just not looking feminine. While I realise I’ve never been a girly, girl, but at the moment I don’t feel great with how I’m looking. I also have had to adjust the clothes I’m wearing for Radiotherapy, and this will continue for a few weeks after Radiotherapy so my clothes are not the most feminine either – mainly because I’m wearing cotton t-shirts and that’s it (can’t afford 100% silk!)!

However, Radiotherapy is going well, the most annoying thing is having to go back and forward to the hospital, and I must admit having a cold during the first week of radiotherapy didn’t help, as all I wanted to do was curl up in bed but I had to get up and get ready to go to the hospital (though due to machine maintenance I did get 1 day off – which I spent in bed).

Autumn is usually my favourite time of year, especially here in Europe as the way the colours change in nature it is amazing. This year it feels like there have been a lot more grey wet days than usual – now while I think this might be more to do with my mood and therefore I’m noticing the grey days, it’s not helping as I feel like I’m not able to enjoy the outdoors as much.

However it isn’t all doom and gloom, Friday I started a new painting at art class, Saturday I met up with a friend and we went out for lunch, which was great just to get together and natter with food, coffee and a lovely cheesecake. It was a great time and today we are heading off to a Christmas market so that should be a lot of fun.

For now a bientôt.

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